People who go this route also tend to develop subtle little ways of finding each other. Being in different sororities? A large portion of people who don’t fit in are highly sensitive to the emotional climate of people and environments. I'm Chris Macleod. 1 decade ago. I may as well describe myself. Another is being too shy or insecure around other people. TW: Suicide talk. Sometimes, not fitting into society would make you feel like you’re not good enough. At the other extreme someone may blatantly stand out from the norm and draw everyone's negative attention. I find shared experiences when I speak with people who know what it is like to feel different—people with disabilities, migrants, creative people, gay people, introverts, recovering addicts, and many others.Though we don’t share those particular characteristics, our mutual understanding of what it is like to be different connects us, powerfully.We know what it is like to be judged because of who we are. If you're getting hassled for not fitting in, then the implicit message you're receiving from other people is that you're faulty as you are, and that everything would be better if you just become more like everyone else. They often ask themselves if it’s more important what other people think about them, or what they feel about themselves at the end of the day. Sometimes it's that I feel like the oddball of the group. Think of the young clean cut office worker who goes to hardcore punk shows every Saturday. However, that, in turn, can make them fall into a state of depression. I don't fit into the society of my age? Those who don’t fit into society sometimes debate whether or not they should try to fit in or don’t bother at all. They Feel Like The Entire World Is Against Them. You see, your personality is so unique that they can’t fit you into a neat and tidy box. Maybe you can leave fairly soon, or you might have to hunker down for a while. There is an imaginary template that we all somehow have to fit to succeed in this new world we live in. I have always felt like the triangle block being forced into a round hole. krispykritter. And society is created by us “normal” people. Showering in the Morning vs Evening: Which is Better? The mentality of so many people in the U.S. Now that I am a little older, I am fine feeling I don't really fit into society. I've been writing about social skills for over ten years. The consequences can differ too. That will make anyone feel like they’re an outcast and there’s definitely nothing wonderful about feeling like one. It won't be possible for everyone, but if it's an option, seek out a group of like-minded people. Shutterstock 1. I often don't feel very female-like at all. Sometimes it's that I don't really fit with the people around me. Lacking specific interpersonal skills is one broad type of social problem. It’s tough to deal with feeling like you don’t really fit in. I am really unhappy because I don't fit in anywhere and I despair at our society. Stop caring about rest of the people. They find it difficult to communicate with people, thus they avoid it at all costs. Personally, I’ve often felt like I don’t fit in at school, work, and even around friends and family. I have a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree, and a B.A. Deep thinkers. I'm shy, quiet, bit socially awkward. In the middle of the scale might be someone who is part of a subculture that's not well represented in their area, and is lonely as a result. Not fitting in could mean things such as: Of course, social awkwardness, shyness, and not fitting in do sometimes go together, however there are many cases where someone feels their communication skills are fine, and they're not anxious around people, but their social lives suffer because they're different. Because no one is there for them, they have to face everything on their own and it can be a great burden to carry. Because, if I was, I would be somewhere else, having a different conversation, with a different set of people, and showing up more fully and completely as me. A free guide to getting past social awkwardness, Having different interests and priorities than most of the people around you (for some reason, the example that always comes to mind for me is someone living up in a U.S. town where the entire population seems obsessed with high school or college sports, while they couldn't be any less interested), Having different beliefs or values than everyone around you (e.g., being the only artsy hippy in a closed-minded town, being the only conservative religious person in a dorm full of people who love drinking and partying), Just being the odd person out who gets picked on (e.g., being the 'weird' guy at your job), Being part of a legitimately marginalized group, like being gay in a more intolerant part of the country, The proven way to get past boring small talk, Instantly beat self-consciousness with the, Busting the myth that you have to get a "more interesting life" to be interesting. “Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love you.” ~Unknown . Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to primitive instincts … It’s incredibly frustrating. The rest of the time, they are generally excluded and ignored, because who they represent doesn’t fit into the jigsaw of a community. April 28, 2014 By admin. Because the new “normal” may just be being “different”. If one of their co-workers ran into them on the weekend, they may not even recognize them. If you feel like you don’t ‘fit in’ with most of society and your actions are respectful, responsible and … There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Relevance. 2.2K views Anonymous. I don't worry about society much. Relevance. I get good grades and go to a top college. I wish the human race were smarter as a whole, but I can't change it. It can all reflect a high school movie mentality where everyone is a jock or a stoner or some other archetype. In other words, you might not fit in but they can at least be tolerant. There's no way I can control the outside world or solve everyone's problems for them, but here are my thoughts. The ideas in this similar article may also be helpful too: Getting Away With Doing Your Own Thing Socially. cos society sucks. That's how I look at it. Is different being a hipster? 1 decade ago. Because they’re “different”, they feel as though it’s a curse and often, the world makes them believe so. I have a nice job lined up. I’ve always felt the pressure to fit in. At work they'll follow the dress code, and avoid saying anything too controversial. Those situations are different. For some people, splitting into two selves is simply a choice they make. The mainstream herd becomes a majority and will marginalize anyone who does not fit into that group who then feel ostracized and abnormal. I can't relate to, and I was born and raised in the U.S. But just because someone has a different way of thinking, it doesn’t mean you need to accept it as your own; just respect it and try to see where they’re coming from. Everything I do to try to get better never works. With no one else who is just like them, they long for sincere companionship sometimes. I can put on the extrovert mask as easily as any other introvert, but wearing the mask is much more draining than just being myself. And it's like I'm lost somewhere else because I'm nothing like that. Those who don’t conform are also more likely to look within for answers because the external answers are fabrications, lies or are unacceptable. The other extreme isn't anything to joke about. Answer Save. Lacking specific interpersonal skills is one broad type of social problem. Let me also know what kind of videos you want to see on my channel. Will I ever fit into society? Don’t tell me hello if you don’t know me, because I’m going somewhere, I’m on my way to a task, and you’re holding me up. Another more mild consequence for someone may be that many people don't want to be friends with them, and just politely ignore them, which they're fine with. These days, if you see someone in a shopping mall who is bare-faced, you'd look at them as if... How to Use “Ok Boomer” in an Office #shorts. Don’t-have-to-explain-myself and can’t-explain-myself are entirely different concepts.Don’t-have-to is a defense mechanism for can’t.People do incredibly crappy things to each other and revel in the fact that technically there’s no explanation necessary. You would have to compromise your ideals to ensure that you and the society have both ends meet. There’s always a standard that society sets and they feel like they can’t reach those standards. I have never been to a party in my life - mainly because I haven't been invited, but I wouldn't go to one if I was. “You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Favourite answer. For example, someone may mostly be similar to their social circle, but get condescending little comments for one opinion they hold. But in general, I really, really hope he's right, and that Muslims don't fit into British society at all well. And if you and I feel like that, then there must be a heap of other people who feel the same. Many people have a difference or two that gets them this kind of light flak from others, and they mostly just put up with it. People can be physically assaulted, black balled from their community, have their property vandalized, or have their family members threatened and harassed. Being “different” means that you’re going to be looked at differently, spoken to differently and treated differently. 21F- I don’t feel like I fit into society. Like in the example above, on the mild side all that may happen is someone gets some friendly teasing about it, or boring lectures from their mom. Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate any articles without permission. Also by Mark Woods. Confusing not having to justify our actions with being unable to justify our actions. Never have been. Social situations are exhausting, and the older I get, the less energy I have to pretend otherwise. I'm trained as a counselor. They'll decide it's practical to present themselves as an average person on the surface, while they do their own thing in their free time. The first thing you can do is making some close friends with whom you feel 'yourself'. There are times when people who can’t fit into society choose to not be part of it because they’re misunderstood for having different ideals. It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. Here’s what it’s like being someone who feels like he is not fitting into society. However this kind of thinking, about how you don't fully fit into any group, can place a bit too much importance on the idea that people fit into neat little clans, and their social lives revolve around what clique they're a member of. Finding your tribe is more important than ‘fitting in’ Honestly, if you have to change yourself to fit in … You can sign in to vote the answer. They don’t need a large circle of friends, just one or two would do. Favorite Answer. ), When You Exercise & Eat at the Same Time #shorts, In 2020, There Were 82 HDB Flats That Were Resold For Over $1 Million, 42 COVID-19 Cases Today (10 Jan); All Are Imported, Body Parts Found At Sriwijaya Air Crash Site; Authorities Focusing on Search & Rescue, Woman Divorces Husband Coz Husband Bought Bra That Were Too Small For Her, The Reason Why Nurses Don’t Wear Gloves When Giving COVID-19 Vaccine Explained. But I’m just not satisfied with myself. i don't fit in and i don't want to. People in certain subcultures, or who have particular philosophies towards life, find they have to do this. It’s not easy to be unable to fit into society especially when they need to face life’s challenges and problems. It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. How do you think about the answers? I don't like talking, I prefer to listen or just observe. Be bold enough to live life on your … If the situation you're in seems bad enough, and you don't see it getting better any time soon, then it may be the right call to move somewhere else. I live in it, and have to work in it (which S U C K S), but the fact that I don't fit in is a testament to our current society. My social skills are too poor and my brain just won't let me function around others. They don’t see themselves as an individual that is accepted in society so they hide away. This can … Sounds dramatic, doesn't it? ¨You shouldn't wear high heels because you're already really tall, you're going to make everyone else look so short. People who don’t fit into society often feel like they’re missing out on the things that other people in society get to experience. A third general problem area is a little different. A third general problem area is a little different. They act bad and stuff. These reasons range from living a different lifestyle to just being a “unique” individual altogether. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. I don't know what it must be like from a male perspective, but even women have the same complexities. Plus, saying hello to a stranger is like showing up with a Christmas gift when I had no idea we were exchanging gifts and I didn’t get you anyway. There are no easy answers but maybe there’s something in the following that may be helpful. I don’t see myself lasting for awhile. It’s time that society needs to start accepting as well as respecting those individuals as just “different” and not weird so that they may be able to embrace and accept their own individuality. Misfits don’t even have to say a word for the other person to … Why Ah Beng threw butter out of the window? I don't fit into society because my brain can't keep up with the social dynamism of others. We don't really know who we are because of how much society has impacted us. I don't fit into society either why should we all be the same don't fit in stand out and keep your head high focus on your school work, just remember that if you succeed all these losers who are mean will be working for you someday, 0 0. It is hard when you feel you should live up to society's expectations. 9 Answers. Answer Save. We know what i… Sometimes, it is these very reasons that make society shun them. Society is validating what a person should and should not look like, what the definition of beauty is, that happiness is when you are successful, that you will only be liked if you’re ‘normal’, so on and so forth. Those who find themselves not fitting into society are often people who suffer from a social anxiety disorder. I’ve felt socially rejected all my life. I'm currently working with clients who live in Ontario, Canada: Copyright © 2006-2021 SucceedSocially.com. There’s always been a gap between what I want to be and what I think the world thinks I should be. Because they’re “different”, they feel as though it’s … I function in society because in the end, once you're an adult, you have to, but I love to travel and that is what keeps me sane. Maybe there's a particular bar in your town that caters to your subculture, or a monthly meet up that's organized online, or an obscure club at your university you could join. It's also one thing to consciously choose to be pragmatic and superficially go along with social norms in order to get something you want. and you're not horrible at everything you do, you just haven't discovered what you're good at yet. That's not the answer though. Why I Don’t Fit Into Society. What can you do if your problem is that you don't fit in? They don't fit the mold that society has given us. In that way, society might not agree or be in line with the things that you do, but they will at least allow you to be a part of them. And most people use “stereotypes” to successfully communicate with others. There are many reasons why some people feel that they are not fitting into society. The extent to which someone doesn't fit in could be very subtle and more irritating than anything. And with humans being social creatures, human interaction is an essential part of living. I’d say I’m successful in terms of my academics and job. It seems like community cases have magically disappeared again. Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help. Having different hair colors? Not the earth or the universe. Everyone I see dress like gangsters or rappers and just focus on girls and stuff. Just not conventional like that, I like to explore and discover things. It's like I'm completely different from everyone else. If someone just varies from the mainstream in a harmless way, they shouldn't have to give in to the masses. Sign in . I feel like I have a giant rock in my brain that isn't supposed to be there that is preventing me from living life. #shorts, 6 Asian Myths That Aren’t True (Based on Science! Whatever it is, when you’re not part of society, you’re definitely going to feel like something is missing from your life. Update: I don't even fit in at Church. In other words, they simply aren’t prepared to deal with your complexity, depth, and ability to think for yourself. It might be due to my conservative, Pentecostal upbringing, or possibly because while my friends were praying-through, playing sports, or working on figuring out the fairer sex, I was oblivious to reality. They can cut through the noise, right through to the heart of the matter — and this puts people off. Hello, I really hope you liked this video, let me know in the comments what your opinion on that. in Psychology. Anonymous. A society with its standards, expectations and societal norms is exactly what makes life harder for those who can’t fit into society. It's one thing to have actual weaknesses in your social skills, which people are giving you legitimate criticism and feedback about. We as college students live in a world that tells us being different is okay, but doesn't give us the definition of "different". This is intimidating for some people as they don’t know what to do when they’re around you. I was a tomboy growing up. Especially when you're younger, you can't choose where you live, and where you were raised may not be a good fit for you. You know, don't stick to the trodden path in life ie: 9-5 office job with a husband and 2.5 kids, don't stick to the path in the wild either, ma bad! So you are not alone in feeling that you don't fit into society. I wanted to focus on how society does this and why we feel the need to fit into it. Mostly, though, it's that I realize I'm not living a life in full alignment with my truth. 1 decade ago. There’s a need to understand what someone who can’t fit into society is going through in order to make it less of a scary world for them to live in. Others feel more forced into it, because their 'real' self would be too misunderstood and rejected otherwise. Being someone who can’t fit into society doesn’t mean that you’re “weird”, just different. 4 Answers. 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